So much news

Hello my loves, Where to begin? So much has happened in the last weeks. There was my birthday, which was filled with so much love and celebrating. A weekend spent in Portland on a vegan food tour. My one year cancer-versary came and went without too much emotion. A beautiful ring and a proposal from Jesse which makes him now my fiancé. He is the one that has been there with me through every doctor's visit, hospital stay, and treatment, by my side through every vulnerable moment. I can't wait to be his wife. The proposal was followed by wedding dress shopping, every girl's dream come true! And a date set, a venue booked. There's a new job in the works...the doctor I work with and I are leaving the clinic we are at to join a urology group. New beginnings are so exciting and I have much to look forward to this year. I will sorely miss the ladies I work with now who have been so supportive throughout my experiences this past year and have taught me so much about nursing. But I look forward to all that I will learn in this new group. 


There was also an ultrasound. Unfortunately it didn't come back as hoped. There is a new mass in my neck, behind my carotid artery on the right. Tomorrow I will be having a biopsy. If it is indeed more cancer, I will need surgery again (it is too big to treat solely with radiation). Then another radioactive iodine scan, and if still positive, then another radioactive iodine treatment. But I am staying confident that it will turn out to be nothing...and if it doesn't, I know I have a phenomenal support system around me to get me through it all again. I've been struggling to sleep because of the high doses of thyroid hormone I'm on to suppress cancer growth. Tomorrow will just be a little nap...I'll wake up minus a few cells, and then patiently await my pathology results. It will take a few days but I will post an update as soon as I know. 


It's hard to stay down about the pending results when I have so much goodness and possibilities in my life right now. In just over a week Jesse and I are going to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, for 8 days in the sunshine. It couldn't come at a better time. 


Now, off to the Seattle VegFest for sampling of all the newest vegan products and listening to some great speakers talk about the health benefits of plant-based diets! I appreciate all your positive thoughts tomorrow.


xoxo,


Lisa

Thyroglobulin

Hello and happy Monday! I'm one of those rare people who loves Mondays - because I get the day off work! I work four ten's and I honestly think it's the perfect schedule. Having a weekday off to get errands done and have some "Lisa" time is so helpful for my sanity.

A couple weeks ago I had my blood drawn to check my thyroglobulin (Tg) level. Like I've mentioned before, this is the tumor marker used for thyroid cancer. The goal is zero (no evidence of cancer). It takes a while to get the results back because they have to ship the blood across the country to the lab. As you can imagine, it isn't cheap - but necessary. Last time, in September, my level was 1.1. Now, nearly five months later, it is 0.9. The good news is it hasn't gone up. But the idea of some cancer cells still residing in me, waiting to multiply out of control whenever they wish, torments me. So I will continue with my healthy living and hope that my body keeps them in check - and fights them ferociously! 

Next month will bring more scans and follow up visits. Next month will also bring something else - something that I'm not sure I should celebrate or mourn. My one year cancer-versary. I was diagnosed on March 18, 2011. This year went by so fast, and while I won't call cancer a blessing, I will be thankful that it has brought me so much closer to some of my friends and has inspired me to write, to drink green juice, and to surround myself with people and things that I love. So, perhaps I should celebrate my first year of living (or as some people say, thriving) with cancer.

Alright my loves, Happy Valentines Day tomorrow. Calories don't count tomorrow (just like birthdays, Christmas, and Thanksgiving!), so spoil yourself with chocolate and conversation hearts! Or flowers - those really don't have calories.

via

xoxo,

Lisa

I'm back!

You might have noticed that my blog was down for a while. I started having second thoughts about having so many personal experiences out there on the web for all to see. I'm sure that most bloggers experience these feelings sometimes. But then I remembered why I started my blog: to keep my loved ones updated. And then it morphed into something bigger - I wanted to share my story with all - to inspire people. And this is who I am. I know that anyone who reads this will only get to know me better. This is the real me!


I am sitting outside in the sun as I write...without a coat on! These sunny winter days are a rarity in Seattle, but oh how they lift the spirit. During our snowpocalypse a few weeks ago I was so desperate for some sunshine that I was surfing the web for some last minute tickets to the OC, but unfortunately they were over $500 each way. I probably would have walked to SeaTac just to get out of here, had they been in my price range. It wasn't the snow that I needed to escape; actually, the snow was fun for a few days. But I wanted to see the sunshine! Preferably from a California beach! For now I will enjoy the Seattle sunshine and dream of a tropical vacay.


The last few months have been full of amazing time during the holidays with family, busy hours at work, and beautiful moments with friends that have proven how much the relationships have grown. We are still struggling to get my thyroid medication at the right dose. Every 6 weeks I get a blood draw and my dose changed. Being kept so hyper is not fun. Night sweats, moodiness, hot flashes - you'd think I was going through menopause! I will learn to adapt and thrive, though, because this is my new normal!


I had a bit of a scare a couple of weeks ago. I woke up with the right side of my face all swollen and a large lump deep in my cheek. It is on the right side, the same side that my tumor was on. My PCP got me in the same day and after a quit exam she informed me that it was actually my salivary gland! The glands can get clogged and even develop a stone. The radioactive iodine is absorbed by the salivary glands, resulting in a permanent dry mouth post treatment. The cure? Hopefully it will go away on its own. Otherwise the ENT surgeons can do a small surgery where they insert a little catheter to allow it to drain.


I regretfully didn't make it to the gym much during the holiday season. But I have renewed my commitment to healthy living and green juice is my new coffee; yoga class is my new Saturday morning routine. But while I can tell my stamina and flexibility suffered from my exercise hiatus, the plus side is that after the break now my workout classes seem so fun and fresh. Green juice tastes better than coffee, and salads are what I crave. Maybe a short break is good for us sometimes.

green juice on a sunny morning

In other good news, I have signed up as crew for a Portland regatta aboard Anam Cara at the end of February. I realized how desperately I missed sailing, even if the thought of shivering on a boat doesn't seem very appealing; I know once I get out there I will be back in love with the sport that I have devoted so much of my past to.


Some things that I love, have always loved, that I want to commit to doing more of: sailing, dancing, reading books, learning, playing my flute & piano.


And off to play in the sunshine....


xoxo,


Lisa

Waiting

I'm writing from Swedish Hospital as my dad is undergoing his prostate cancer surgery. I've spent a lot of time in hospitals this year, but this is my first time this year as the family member instead of the patient or nurse. It's been a long day but there are many more hours of waiting before it will be over. I've been having a great time in the kitchen, veganizing French recipes and putting my slow cookers to work, but although my food is healthful, I could tell my body was in need of a little detox. So this week I've decided to do a raw food cleanse. I did a raw diet in the weeks that I had to be off of my thyroid hormone in prep for my radiation, and my body felt great despite the effects of hypothyroidism. After my treatment, though, I suffered from nausea and couldn't stomach raw foods for quite some time. After I recovered from that I never tried going raw again. I started on Saturday, and already on day 3 I feel much less bloated, happier, and more energetic! My friend, Cherl, requested that I document my raw week to give everyone an idea of what delicious things I'm eating! I can't upload the pictures now because I'm on my iPad and my blogger app isn't working, but they are on my Facebook page and I'll upload them here when I get a chance. I can't see myself going 100% raw all the time, but I think aiming for a high raw diet is something that will make my body and soul the happiest. And, I don't have to worry about burning my food :) xoxo, Lisa

50/50

Greetings!

Fall is creeping in slowly here in Seattle, the leaves teasing me with kisses of crimson and tangerine, sudden wind storms that leave the lake in a froth, and pumpkins adorning every store window. But today is sweet and sunny and barely even cool, as if she is tempting me with a mild season ahead. With boots, a scarf, and a sweater today, I'm prepared for anything.

I haven't felt like writing much lately, so I haven't. But today I couldn't wait to sit down and let the words come. I can't explain why. I feel like my thyroid hormone levels have balanced, and I find myself giggling uncontrollably at least once a day (my old self is back!). I can concentrate, I can make it through a day without wanting to eat every ten minutes. My heart is full and my body feels healthy.

Have you seen the movie 50/50? I can't recommend it enough. Bring your tissues and don't plan on trying to throw a party later in the day. But even if the film is somber, it will leave you with new gratitude and new interpretation of a cancer patient's journey. Based on a true story, the film is about a twenty-seven year old man (Seattleite!) who is diagnosed with cancer and a 50% chance of survival (hence the name). So many scenes in the movie hit close to home for both Jesse and I.... when the doctor is talking but it doesn't sound like anything is coming out of his mouth...trying to tell your friends and family...the struggle that the friends and family go through. Even the tantrums.

I can't say enough to all of you how thankful I am for your support & love that never ends. I always appreciate it and this film made me appreciate it ever more.

Results

First, let me begin by apologizing for my long absence from blogging. Life has been full of fun & wonderful activities with family & friends, like a trip to Southern California in my dad's plane, kayaking in our new boats, concert-going and salsa dancing.

And now for the much-anticipated results: my scan looked good! My thyroglobulin level was 1.1 (0 = no evidence of cancer), but since it's headed in the right direction and the radiation takes a full six months to work we are hoping that in three months from now it will be 0! It is such a relief to at last have some good news. My doctor was shocked by how good the results were this soon, and I honestly believe that my focus on diet and healing has a lot to do with the impressive amount of cancer fighting that has occurred in my body.

My TSH level was 0.01, and although I need to be hyperthyroid for suppression, the goal is 0.1. We lowered my hormone dose and I was feeling better already within a week. It's much easier to think and function. And only a few months ago my TSH was over 60... Now I know both how it feels to be extremely hypo- and hyperthyroid. There is not much point in longing to be normal again since I know it can't happen, but I'll appreciate feeling less hyper than I have been once my thyroid levels go down.

So for now the plan is to recheck my blood levels in three months, and if they are good then I can wait until the spring for my next scan. I'll have an ultrasound as well as a radioactive iodine scan (yuck!). I'll have to have those frequently because of the high rate of recurrence with this type of cancer. But in the meantime, I've got three more months of playtime before worrying about the next test!

Happy Autumn!

xoxo,

Lisa

Water

I have been craving water the last few days...not to drink, but to be in. Waking up yesterday the first thing I wanted was a long bubble bath, and today all I desired was a long swim in the lake (which ended up being floating and treading), followed by a very long shower that I couldn't make myself get out of. 


My dreams the last two nights have been all about water: first, on Friday night, dreaming that the lake was flooding and we had to get inland. We were scrambling to put all of our belongings in waterproof bags, and collecting the dog as we zoomed away from the flood. Then last night my dreams were of everyday occurrings yet it all took place in the water. Not in the sense of drowning, just that we were in calm, still water. 


I did a quick online search to find some dream interpretation sites, and found that dreaming of flooding can indicate repressed emotions that are overwhelming me, or that certain worries will soon be swept away. According to dreammoods.com,

"To see water in your dream symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. To see calm, clear water in your dream means that you are in tune with your spirituality. It denotes serenity, peace of mind, and rejuvenation."

I'm not sure how to translate all that to my life, but it does seem interesting that water is such a focus for me at the moment. Any thoughts? 


Tomorrow we are off to Leavenworth to float the river. Zeus even gets to come because they have special tubes just for dogs!


xoxo,


Lisa