Friday, July 29, 2011


Hi loves! It's a gorgeous, sunny week here in Seattle. What an amazing effect the sunshine has on everyone's moods. In fact, I'm blogging from my balcony right now. My body is feeling almost "normal" at last. I had my TSH tested and it was 0.07. Right on target! This means they got my dose of Levoxyl correct the first time. I've heard that some people don't tolerate being this "hyper," but I haven't had any of the symptoms such as tremors, insomnia, or heart palpitations. But now that I think about it, I really should check my blood pressure just to be sure. 

I've been maximizing my time off from treatment. I went to visit my mom, aunt, and grandma for a few days when I could escape from work, and it was a fabulous time. We all have the same sense of humor, so we can just sit around and laugh and laugh. This weekend Jesse and I are going cruising with my dad and Scott in the San Juans on a J/122, Anam Cara. 

While it's easy to pretend everything is normal again and try to forget about having cancer, I can't. It's always there, in the back of my mind. And I guess that's a space of my mind that I'm going to have to learn to share, because cancer isn't vacating it any time soon. Even when the docs will tell me I'm in remission, even when they tell me I'm cured, the small worry will always be there, and those memories will never go away. And although I'm living up my summer, waiting and seeing just isn't as easy as it sounds. September seems lightyears away, and yet also like it's looming over me like a deadline tomorrow. 

I just came across the blog Everything Changes in my daily research and reading. The author seems to see right into my life! I can't wait to read her book. 

For now, I'll keep reminding myself of my favorite quote from the Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor, Kris Carr, 
"I got news for ya, life is a terminal condition; cancer patients are just more aware of it. The real question is how many of us will choose to truly live."

me driving Anam Cara in the San Juans, July 2009

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