happiness

Our family has been through a lot the last few years. Sometimes it seems like one thing after another, and I wonder when it will ever end. It feels unfair, and when I hear people complain endlessly about what seems trivial to me, I get so frustrated. But you know what? Everyone has painful stuff in their lives. I constantly catch myself judging people, or making assumptions. I'll have a patient at work who is mean and grumpy, and I think, what did I ever do to you to deserve to be treated like this? But then I hear their story, and it seems like too much pain for anyone to bear. Of course that doesn't excuse their attitude. But, I think the difference between happy people and unhappy people is the way they look at their situation. You can make the best of it, or you can be sour at the world for the rest of your life. Kris Carr said it best: "I got news for ya. Life is a terminal condition: cancer patients are just more aware of it. The real question is how many of us will choose to truly live."

Lately I've often found myself daydreaming about a life with a big house and my dream car, a life where the endless hospital bills just seemed like pocket change, and I could afford to try whatever cancer-curing program I wanted, or not worry about taking yet another day off work for a doctor's appointment. But then I realized that daydreaming isn't going to accomplish much, and really only leads to feeling more sad that my reality isn't what my dreams are. 

So instead, I've decided to love and be satisfied with the life I have. There really is so much to love about it! I honestly have the most amazing people in my life. My home may be small, but I live on the beach, in my favorite neighborhood of Seattle. Though I may cause hardship for my coworkers when I have to miss more work, they always seem to forgive me. The hospital bills may keep coming, but I am fortunate enough to have health insurance.

The small change in how I view things has made all of the difference in my happiness. I feel much more at peace. I am so thankful for all that I have.